Semeru
by pekori
Summary: It may impossible to fully sever a bond that was forged at birth, but not quite as inconceivable to damage it beyond repair. [One shot] [English title: Attack]


Author's Notes: This is quite a dark piece indeed, and there is a heavy amount of twincest in it to boot. I will say now that while I am not nor have I ever been a proponent of twincest, I find the thought of it between the Hitachiin brothers quite an enthralling dynamic. The idea of it consumes me so much that it's a bit alarming. If their voices seemed a bit slurred, realize that the story doesn't take place during the time periods we know in their lives. They are seventeen, twelve, then seventeen again, and I'd imagine, especially if something like this were going on, that things could conceivably progress in such a way. But I'll let you be the judge of that yourself. 

Disclaimer and Acknowledgements: _Ouran High School Host Club_ was created by Bisco Hatori and definitely not licensed by myself. Therefore, the following is a work of fiction using characters that are not my own, and no harm nor profit is meant or made by publishing this.

* * *

Hikaru Hitachiin was a wreck. So much of one that he had no regard at all for his language or presence, for upholding the family name, for anyone or anything that wasn't himself. 

Tonight, Kaoru slept in another room. It was a trial imposed by their parents — an effort to separate the two before things got out of hand. Little did they know that things had long since been out of hand. Still, Kaoru had gone so _easily_. It was as if he didn't care in the least about what they were doing to the two of them. It was lucky they hadn't thought to confiscate their cell phones or Hikaru feared he might go completely crazy.

"Kaoru. _Kaoru_. Wake up."

"I am up," the other voice whined sleepily. "The ringing woke me. What is it that you want now?"

"Why don't you try to sneak back in?"

"What good would that do?"

"Don't you miss me at all?"

"Hikaru, I'm tired and we have school in the morning."

"Dammit, Kaoru, why don't you _care_?"

Kaoru hung up then and Hikaru was wounded. He didn't even have the mind to call him back, too preoccupied with containing his rage and holding together his heart. The bond had been severed in the most painful of ways and it left him with no one to turn to.

+ 

The trouble started years ago in the same fashion that most of their mischief began: the pretense of a harmless game. The pair had just celebrated their twelfth birthday. Hikaru was just a hair taller and perhaps that was how the two of them had started to fall into their roles. Kaoru was meeker: he had been smaller at birth, he was still smaller now, and he had always been the more soft-spoken of the pair. It seemed only natural for Hikaru to be the attacker — so attack he did.

"Truth or dare," Hikaru murmured. It was late and they had already been caught by a nurse once. It wasn't a school night, but they had a busy day tomorrow. Family was coming to celebrate the new collection their mother was going to be releasing, and they needed to be in top form as the Hitachiin family heirs. Needless to say, it was not something that they were looking forward to.

"Dare." This game was always boring with them, for neither of them ever picked truth. It sort of ruined the sport of it, while also keeping them on their toes, trying to out do each other.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Are you chickening out?"

"No, no, I just don't understand."

"What's not to understand?"

Kaoru hesitated and Hikaru knew it was because Kaoru knew he was right. Then, quickly and softly, he darted in and out, leaving only a ghost of a kiss on his twin's lips.

"T-truth or dare," Kaoru said, his voice trembling a little. Hikaru reached a tender hand to lay over Kaoru's.

"Truth."

"...Why did you want me to kiss you?"

"What makes you think I wanted you to?"

"Why else would you have dared me to kiss you?"

"I didn't think that you'd do it."

"Why wouldn't I have done it?"

"Kaoru, you're shaking." Even in the dark, Hikaru could see the flush on his twin's cheeks. "Truth or dare."

"You still haven't answered."

"Yes, I did. I said it was because I didn't think that you'd do it."

Kaoru didn't say anything and Hikaru's grip on his hand tightened. There was the slightest jerk, as if Kaoru was planning to pull away and then changed his mind at the last moment. "Truth."

"Why are you so frightened?"

"I'm not."

"Then why are you shivering?"

"I..."

"Kaoru," Hikaru spoke gently. Neither boy said another word, and things progressed as they would. This night made it clear that each had matured more quickly than the other in two completely different areas. Hikaru didn't know that Kaoru didn't want this, knowing how much pain it would inevitably bring; all he knew was the carnal burning in the pit of his stomach that kept him moving over his mirror image rhythmically if not a bit clumsily. Kaoru was silent the entire time, neither encouraging him nor protesting his actions.

The following morning, they awoke naked and a bit dazed. They weren't altogether sure that what had happened last night wasn't just some dream until they looked at each other. Then they realized it was all true. Kaoru flushed again and turned away and Hikaru reached the same hand over to comfort him. Kaoru's fingers slipped between Hikaru's and they stayed like that for a very long time until there was a knock at the door to wake them to dress for the party.

Hikaru placed a kiss to Kaoru's temple before sliding out of bed to gather their clothes.

It only took a week of this for the pair to be walked in on and Hikaru to be dragged bodily from the room, screaming for Kaoru to say something. He didn't, but Hikaru readily forgave him the moment they proved to their therapists they were cured. They celebrated their first night sharing a room again with a particularly rowdy romp, and it was all Hikaru could do to stifle himself lest they be caught again.

+ 

Their first year of high school was exceedingly different from any of the years they had spent in junior high. Then everything had been a secret because their entire lives were secrets. The only people privy to them were Hikaru and Kaoru. Now that they had agreed to help out this stupid club, though, the barrier would begin to weaken. Hikaru didn't think anything of it, for they had never known anything but each other and a silly French boy wasn't going to change that at all.

In a bit of tragic irony, Hikaru realized only too late that it would be the love interest of the silly French boy who would truly trigger the beginning of the end.

Now, with the French boy long gone and still pining for that love of his, Hikaru only had Kaoru. Except he hardly had even that much. Tonight they were in different rooms, Hikaru entirely sleepless and furious that Kaoru could slumber so easily. He considered keeping him up with phone calls purely out of spite, but before his plan could be fully formed, his own phone rang to indicate that, perhaps, Kaoru had had a similar plan.

"I'm not sure what you expect me to do. They're right, you know," Kaoru said and Hikaru's face fell.

"What do you mean, 'they're right?'"

"This. This is unnatural. They were right to try to separate us before and they're right to separate us now."

"Kaoru—"

"Hikaru, listen to me. Even when we were younger we shouldn't have been doing these things."

"You're being unfair."

"You've been unfair to me since the beginning."

"How can you say something like that? You never said no!"

"I shouldn't have had to if we were as close as we thought." Hikaru couldn't reply, knowing Kaoru had made a point he hadn't counted on. "I care about you more than everything. More than life, school, Mom, Dad, Haruhi, air, sun, sky. But if you care about me even half as much, you will let them do this for us."

"Kaoru, I'm losing you..."

"We lost each other a long time ago. It just took Haruhi to show us."

"Stop saying that. That isn't true."

"Hikaru," Kaoru spoke softly, tenderly, tiptoeing around the words instead of actually saying them. "It's been five years. This has to end."

"If we hadn't been caught, you wouldn't be saying this."

"You're probably right."

"Then why say it now?"

"Because it needs to be said."

"I can't believe you could be this cruel."

"Neither can I."

Hikaru was the one to hang up, then, fuming. He threw his phone across the room, not caring if it broke, and sat silently upon his bed for the rest of the night, scarcely moving and not sleeping at all. Kaoru came to find him in the morning at the advice of their mother, though she waited just outside the door to make sure things didn't get out of hand.

"Hikaru." His voice was the same as last night: afraid.

"Leave."

"Hikaru..."

"You want to leave me, then leave. I don't want you here."

"It's time for school."

"I'm not going with you."

"All right. I'll tell Mom to get another car ready."

"Why aren't you fighting this at all?" Hikaru's voice was wild, shrill, and more fearful than Kaoru's could even begin to be.

"There is nothing to fight."

"Truth or dare."

"Not now, Hikaru, please..."

"_Truth or dare_."

"Truth."

"If you didn't want to, why did you stay quiet for all those years?"

"I was afraid of this."

"Afraid of what?"

"_This_. This confrontation. This heartache. This fighting that can only go so far before we get tired of it."

"Truth or dare."

"No. It's my turn next," Kaoru said, and came further into the room to sit on the bed beside his twin. "Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Did you want to hurt me?"

"What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I don't want to hurt you."

"Then why didn't you ever listen?"

"Kaoru..."

"Don't, Hikaru. You know that I'm right." Hikaru had been trying to take Kaoru's hand again, as he always had, but Kaoru pulled it away so quickly that only the tips of Hikaru's fingers had the chance to graze his skin.

"I love you, Kaoru."

"You love me too much, in ways that you shouldn't ever have loved me."

Hikaru realized only too late that Kaoru had matured far past himself, both emotionally and mentally, and he finally wondered if it was his fault that they were like this now. "What happened to 'I love you, too'?"

"I do. But you are my brother."

"We've always been close."

"I just want to be 'Kaoru.'"

There was a sharp pain in his chest that even Hikaru couldn't mistake for anything other than his heart breaking. If he'd had the strength, he might have punched Kaoru, but as things stood, he couldn't move. "Where does that leave me?"

"You are 'Hikaru' and you are the only brother I will ever have or ever want to have."

"How can you even say that?"

"Because it's the truth." Kaoru leaned in to press a kiss to Hikaru's forehead before standing and going back to the door. "You mean more to me than everything else combined. Never doubt that no matter what happens."

"You say that like I have a choice."

There was a heavy silence that stifled any thoughts for a few, tedious moments. Then Kaoru said, "I want you to ride with me to school."

"I'm not feeling well."

Kaoru only nodded, understanding, and gave a small wave to Hikaru, who only felt sicker for the fact that this was the first time Kaoru had decided to go to school without him instead of faking sick as well. He decided that no matter what Kaoru said, he had to be lying, because he hadn't yet picked truth again. They would simply have to pick up where they left off when he came back.

* * *

_Fin._


End file.
